Oh Those Extra Few Pounds

Seek Understanding and Harmony in all things. Basic spiritual principle in every language. The same fundamental  truth runs through health, and through science; nothing is apart from the other.

We are not here to conquer.

We are here to understand and be in balance. When you balance one thing, you balance all things.

If balancing your weight loss is not working, balance your bedroom Feng Shui. Listen to beautiful music, and balance your stress. Know when you are balancing these things, you are balancing all things, in essence, and in fact, your weight.

I rely on my An…

I rely on my Angels, not my odds.

Integrity Check

A week ago I began to meet with my life coach. So, now I’m on track. I’ve set up a little app on my phone, compliments of Happy Ritual, that lets me record my daily habit practice, or more honestly, lack there of. I can record rituals that are daily, or weekly, or anywhere in the space between. One of my weekly rituals is to do an integrity check, that is, have I done the things I said I was going to do? As the case may be, to analyze why I have not and, to ask myself what’s in the way? Well, suffice to say, I lack check marks on the to do list.

The term happy has me consider, have I created my rituals around fulfilling my hearts desires? Or, have I created rituals to confirm my utter failure at being any resemblance to success? Why is it, despite continued trials of failure, I continue to believe that brow beating will eventually lead to an internal uprising that will defy and quiet the dissatisfied voice?

I’m reconsidering today. What if the things that don’t get done aren’t really that important? My check in today will include, is this really what I want? Will it matter in five years that I didn’t clean my kitchen every night? Ok that’s a bold faced lie. I cleaned my kitchen every night. I didn’t spend any quality time crafting with my 7-year-old daughter and, yes, it matters. It matters in my heart of hearts. It matters in the death bed flashes of all I did and didn’t do, with the years I’ve been gifted.

This is a good deal. I can go in, and if I’m committed, I’m in constant reminder of what’s important, to me. There’s a space for my commitment and a space to write a little tidbit on why I made the commitment in the first place.

I have to acknowledge that while much on the list did not come to fruition, much not on the list, did. I didn’t call the DMV to take care of my little license mishap. I did get enrolled in my up coming courses for the semester. So while the former is still lingering, infringing on my bright future, the latter is in great support, I think.

Now that I’ve received my cuddos here’s the confrontation. Why am I leaving this license hindrance in place? I suppose to most competent, mature minds this would occur as obsured. I can’t rationally argue with that so, here’s how it goes irrationally: I resent the whole idea of requirements, duty needing payment. I blow into this anarchists abhorrence of eons of society, the rules of the elite, obeyed by commoners. I wonder, who are you to be elite, up there on your righteousness, telling me what to do? Who decided that?! Certainly not I! Maybe I think, you should be doing what I say; to serve me, and whomever else I deem appropriate. Societies great need for parameters which create great need for police forces are peculiar to me. Call me naive but, the drive to maintain them concerns me. In addition, that I watch the gross mishandling of our earth and its inhabitants, the toxic waste dumped in every orifice of every canal, the disgusting Onceler greed. And I’m to PAY for THAT!? Really, really, chaps my ass.

Aimless I Am.

I have a perpetual drive for aimlessness. To say simply, that it is designed to be overcome, is like saying the breath is designed to be overcome. Chronic pain by virtue of resistance. At least that’s how I see it.

Contrary By Nature

Another conspiracy theorist. I was once accused of being “contrary by nature,” of course my response was, “no I’m not.”  In my elder, more self-accepting years, I submit to the charge. I’m so convinced some undefinable, kryptonite energy is cheating and abusing us that I’m pursuing a science degree to prove it. Ridiculous perhaps, and difficult to find an institution that I and the general public can agree is credible.

I’m not intending any disrespect to those who have studied and worked and have a far greater understanding than I. I do however, follow the money, it’s a little hobby of mine; and I basically reject anything I have to work too hard for. Weeding truth from a mirage of blatant intentional lies, is way too much work.

Science is a word, like love, that gets liberally thrown around with the assumption we all know and understand its meaning, and agree on terms of use. We assume inherent integrity, and education by its spoken elites. We’re largely mistaken. We’re a culture of teenage girls crying, “but, he said he loved me.”

Indigo children are said to be contrary by nature, we’re system busters. I have a theory, it’s a blend of my own and my bi-polar mother’s. I remember as a little girl my mother saying, regarding her madness, this was the change in the allele of the gene. Before evolution expresses its delight, it expresses the preceding chaos. Many years later as I find myself hyper-sensitive in general, I believe she was right.

It makes perfect sense to me, that in an effort to save and heal the planet, the good and glorious energy of creation would send we little beings, who cannot tolerate environmental slaughter. Many report to me that psychic sensitivity is to much to bare. I believe them. I’ve had the same experience. So, we do what any good, self-serving, bloated culture would do, we numb. We take pills and drink wine; we make money and fair weather friends. In the end I think, we will all find we cannot be contrary to life, to our connectedness to it, to each other.